I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
