Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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