you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
