Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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