I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
