The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
