Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I'm passing your future prison.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
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