did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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