I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
