you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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