id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
