sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
