used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize