Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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