I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
The beers last night were like the tears from god
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
