dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
