is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
