I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
