My entire life is one complicated drinking game
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
try to milk me bitch
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
