If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
