Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
