in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
