ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Randomize
