you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
