And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Randomize
