She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
they're like a gay fantastic four
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
