i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
