covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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