somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
