In the future we'll all be gay
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
