the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
