I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
