We named our party play list daddy issues
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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