it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
