based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
