idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
