No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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