She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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