You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
