If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
