Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
