Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
