just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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