the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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