She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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