plz talk dirty to me
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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