I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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