I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Let the clothes fall where they may.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize