I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
