just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
