He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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