do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
