I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
My breasts were aching with rage.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
