She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
