My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
