Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
