I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
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