I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
