He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
