Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Operation Purity has been aborted
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
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