she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
