i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I just blew my weed a kiss
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Randomize
