idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
