Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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