the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
so let's talk penis.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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