im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
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