i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
