whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
