my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
