It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
